MLI Home → Writings → Bulletins → Life in Tennessee vol. 2 #1

It's said that the measure of a land can't be taken by the beauty of one location. Actually, nobody's ever said that, but it's true. You can't judge a book by its cover. So much for searching for an appropriate aphorism.

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My friend Glacier, a transplanted Montana native now residing in Oregon, has been to this area several times in the past year.1 We had discussed the idea of both Goat and I traveling out to spend some time camping in Montana, but the plan by necessity changed into something quite different: Glacier would drive his green Subaru wagon out here, and he and I would drive back, visiting national parks along the way. Goat had work to do, so it was just going to be the two of us. I figured it would be my last chance to see the West for a long time.

The plan was simple. We'd load up his cooler with food, eat from that, and camp at local sites along the way to Utah. When we reached southern Utah, we'd spend a few days in Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. Then we'd head on up to Oregon, where we'd spend a week or so. From there, we'd go to a gathering in northern California, and then we'd part ways: Glacier going back to Oregon, and I'd find a way down to San Francisco to stay for a while with my friends Beth and Zook.

There was one rule that Glacier proposed: No fast food. We'd either eat from the cooler or in a real restaurant. I'd done this before in my first trips to Tennessee, but never for more than a day at a time.

Once we'd decided to do this, the planning began. The timing was dependent on the dates of the gathering, but Glacier didn't have those. I found a very good one way airfare from SF to Nashville, but couldn't confirm it until we'd gotten the date straight. By the time someone got the information to Glacier, the rate had gone up to almost twice what was originally quoted. Oh, well. It's going to be fun anyway!

Glacier came, did some business in Birmingham, and we were off. I like to give this kind of event a name, like the "Farewell Northeast" tour I had done the previous year just prior to leaving Albany. This trip was a little bit harder to put a handle on, though.

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Off we went, and our first stop was nearby: Larry Lowman's nursery just over the border in Arkansas. We found the place in the late afternoon, and it looked like no one was home. After a search for a phone and a quarter, we discovered where Larry laired, and proceeded apace.

Larry is quite the green thumb, and perhaps a green brain too. He showed us all around the nursery, talking about all the different varieties he sold. His pride was the "Hosta Mall", with a multitude of different kinds of hosta plants. There was something about them that looked familiar, and I kept my eyes open. At the end of the introduction to hostas I found it: hosta plantaginea, with large white blossoms and a strong sweet fragrance. This is the hosta that had grown in my parents' back yard when I was a kid - and I finally hung a name on it.

Larry proceeded to fill us up with his cooking - one of the best vegetarian meals I've eaten - and the next morning, he treated us to crepes.

So remember, folks, that's Ridgetop Nursery in Wynne, Arkansas. There's some good cooking going on. Hosta la vista.

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We got back on the road again early in the morning. We were following I-40 west, and it's a long stretch. Arkansas makes it seem even longer. It's flat. The only thing to break the monotony is trees and cropdusting airplanes. Glacier was bored after half an hour of driving.

Arkansas is the Left Turn State. Perhaps not officially, but it is true. Since the roads are long, straight, and sometimes only two lanes, it's easy to pass someone. We were traveling around the speed limit on our way back to I-40, and many people passed us. However, they'd forget to turn off their left turn signal when they got back into the lane ahead of us. This would go on for miles. And it wasn't just one person - this happened a lot.

We got back on I-40 and settled down for a long stretch of driving. We hoped to cross Arkansas, Oklahoma, and with luck the Texas panhandle before stopping for the night. I was especially looking forward to Oklahoma, as I had been born there and hadn't seen the place since 1969 or so. Twenty five years is a long time.

We made it into Oklahoma without a hitch, and I finally saw some oil wells. I remembered them quite well, but the rest really didn't come back. Maybe it was because I was raised farther south of where we traveled, in different terrain.

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We neared Oklahoma City in the late afternoon. Glacier wanted to hear the news on NPR, so we turned the radio on and searched for the station. What we heard was very strange. We couldn't find NPR! Not only couldn't we find NPR, but only one station on the entire spectrum was playing music. The rest were all newscasts.

It was very confusing, and as time went on it got a little scary. We finally heard something that suggested a bombing had occurred, and my first thought was for the World Trade Center. But we couldn't figure out where it had happened. The announcers kept mentioning Oklahoma City, but we were right outside it, so I initially figured it was just stations identifying themselves.

Eventually our dawning realization was confirmed, that something very bad had happened in Oklahoma City itself. We scurried for the map and plotted an alternate route as quickly as possible, detouring to the south rather than taking I-40 straight through the heart of the city.

Shaken up, we continued on through storms in western Oklahoma. Oklahoma, let it be known, has NO Rest Areas along I-40. We stopped to make dinner as soon as we crossed the Texas state line. We found out what had happened in Oklahoma City later that evening.

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Three miles into Texas, and out of the rain, we stopped at the first rest area to try to cook some dinner. It was windy as anything, and Glacier had a heck of a time lighting the new camp stove he'd just bought to replace his old one. While he did that, I took a look around. There was an 18 wheeler parked behind us, and one other car parked about thirty feet ahead of us. Other than that, it was pretty barren.

Behind us, though, was a nice sight: a double rainbow, made of late afternoon Texas sun and Oklahoma rain.

While Glacier cooked noodles for dinner, I puttered around. Suddenly I noticed that the man standing behind the other car had taken off his pants. Well, I thought to myself, Texas sure is a friendly kind of place. I pointed this out to Glacier, and he was amused. (It turns out the man was just changing his clothes.)

Somewhere in here I made a note that the lightning we saw that day was particularly well timed with the ZBS radio serial we were listening to, The Fourth Tower of Inverness. Texas seems to have affected my spelling, though, because the note reads "lightning particurly [sic] well timed during 4th Tower".

That evening we stayed in a motel by Amarillo, and the next morning we needed to get some food. Off we sped to... Wal-mart? Well, this one had food, so in we went early in the morning.

Very early morning is a good time to shop. There was almost no one in the place except workers and us. But as soon as we entered, I knew that I was suddenly in a different part of the world. The radio that was playing was announcing songs in English and Spanish. Glacier informed me that there were no bananas on display, but they did have an entire display devoted to chilies.

The food section of that Wal-mart had the best layout I've ever seen. Well, it might not have been the best objectively, but it was wonderful for us; as we walked down the aisles we'd think of something we needed, and we'd been right next to it. It was perfect, up until I wanted hand lotion. Then I had to cross half the store.

Tanked up, we were ready to go for another day. It was on this day that we discovered the Big Texas Lie: Everything's bigger in Texas. It's not. The highest octane gas we could find was 90. But we did see the row of Cadillacs stuck nose-first into the ground. It's out there, somewhere along I-40.

And if you think Arkansas is flat, you haven't seen anything yet.

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If you ever plan to motor west, travel US Route 666. No, that's not 66, that's 666. It runs north-south on the western side of New Mexico, and it's something that you have to see to appreciate.

There's a lot of absolute breathtaking places in the southwest that Glacier and I saw. I can't really describe them, since words won't do them justice. Until you've been there, you just can't know. Language isn't enough.

So let me recommend:

• US Route 666.
• Shiprock Point.
• Dike swarms.

What makes this part of the trip stand out even stronger in my mind is the contrast.

When we entered New Mexico, suddenly the land changed. The flora had shifted to scrub, and the ground began to get irregular. Then it just dropped away - bang - and we were in the southwest. It was completely different from anywhere I'd ever been.

We spent most of the day crossing New Mexico, then heading off I-40 up Route 666. The northern portion of 666 heads through a Navajo reservation, and that's what sticks in my mind: the harsh beauty of the desert, the fantastic landscape - and clusters of small, poor homes just off the road. I don't know if there's a lot of poverty there, but it sure looks like it. And I suspect there's very little opportunity. The contrast between the land and the life was wrenching.

Maybe I'm interpreting what I saw completely wrong. I hope so.

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We next stopped in Colorado for dinner. We found a funky bookstore/restaurant with home cooking. I really enjoyed it, and we were served by the owner herself. I'd recommend it if I could remember the name... it's either in Cortez or Monticello, and it's downtown. It looks like a place hippies might go. Glacier informed me that it wasn't cool to tip the server if he or she is the owner. Don't mind me, I'm just a barbarian!

Onward we pushed. We'd hoped to get to one of the parks that evening and camp, but the weather didn't cooperate. Here we were, two-thirds of the way through April, and it was snowing! Again, we pulled into a motel and spent the evening in minor decadence.

The next morning there was at least an inch of snow on everything. But this is high altitude, isn't it? Maybe it will all go away and we can have a good day in the National Parks, we hoped.

It did. It was gone very quickly, being the fluffy-wet-almost-at-0c snow that makes good snowballs. We went on to Arches National Park.

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Again, I can't do them justice. You have to see them. I recommend April as a good time to do this, since it's too hot in the summer.

We started in Arches National Park, which has more natural arches than anywhere else on Earth. This includes Landscape Arch, the largest.

We spent the morning and early afternoon there. We didn't even scratch the surface. If you really want to do this right, plan on at least three days: one for exploring the "tourist" pathways, and two (or more) for just hiking.

There's nothing like it. Go there. Be careful. That's all I can say.

By the way, that's Glacier (not me) in the picture.

We went on to Canyonlands, which is where the Colorado and Green Rivers meet. We stayed on Bureau of Land Management land outside the park itself, near Dead Horse Point State Park. The ground that wasn't bare stone had what's known as cryptobiotic crust. It's a dark combination of lichens and bacteria that is the first step in break the rock down into soil. The ground looks just like everywhere else, except it's dark. You have to be careful where you step, because it takes a long time to regenerate once damaged.

We actually camped at a site that Glacier had stayed at a dozen years earlier.

Over the next two days, we went to the observation points at Island in the Sky, a mesa joined to the next plateau by only a narrow causeway, and Upheaval Dome. There was no view in the entire world that comes close to the view from Island in the Sky. Go there.

Island in the Sky is about 2000 feet above the rivers. About 1000 feet below the mesa (my estimates might be really wrong) is another plateau, and the rivers have carved channels through that. There's a road that runs along the lower plateau, and it's about 100 miles long. It was originally made by uranium prospectors, and was maintained through the '60s, I think. But it's recommended only for 4 wheel drive vehicles, and it takes more than one day to drive. Someday...

You know what the difference between the east, the midwest, and the west is? In the east it gets cloudy and rains. In the midwest, you can see the storm approaching, and then it rains. From Island in the Sky I could see four or five storms at a time.

Glacier pointed out that the clouds had a pinkish tinge to their bottoms, due to light reflected off the red land below. We called them pink-butt clouds.

Upheaval Dome isn't a dome at all, it's a bowl. There are two theories about it: (a) it's a collapsed salt dome, and (b) it's a meteor crater. There's some evidence for each theory. I'm not placing any money, but I think I go with (a) just because the odds of finding such a fantastic crater in such an amazing place lead me to link the two.

The highlight of Glacier's trip was leaving Canyonlands. No, actually he loves it and has been there several times, but on the way out we took the most incredible road I've ever been on. We had camped not far from Long Canyon, near Pucker Pass. There's a road from the Big Flat level down to the level of the Colorado River, and it goes down the side of the canyon. Warning: 4WD only! It switchbacked like a snake, and there was one point where we came out of a very sharp turn to find that we had incredible tall sandstone walls on either side of the vehicle. Glacier was laughing with delight the whole way down, and we both kept saying "Isn't this incredible?" to each other and ourselves.

Eventually we made it down to the bottom, and followed the Colorado river up past Moab and on to the northeast. I might not have seen the Grand Canyon, but I've seen what the Colorado can do.

Need I say it?

Just go.

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We followed the Colorado until suddenly we weren't in its canyon anymore. We had emerged out onto plains, with mountains in the distance. Well, it was time to go home. Or at least, it was time for Glacier to go home, and since I was going there anyway...

We passed through Utah, and I saw the Great Salt Lake which was a shimmer in the distance. Out west they paint big letters on mountains to advertise their sporting teams. And we did see quite a few Mormon temples.

We hit Twin Falls, Idaho in the late evening. The city is zoned away from the highway, and it just looks weird at night. There's all the lights of a city, but they're over there, and there's a big dark space next to the highway. The division is sharp. It's got an edge. The road to the city is like a string of lights across the darkness.

We stumbled into a motel (again) and staggered next door before the Mexican place closed. It probably would have been better if they had. Bleah. Mexican and me, we don't see eye to eye. I'm always willing to give it a chance, but it's rare for us to smile at each other.

The next morning we were preparing to leave when I made an unpleasant discovery: my Swiss Army knife was missing. This was the knife my grandfather had given me as a present when I was kid. I'd lost it, and then found it during the next spring thaw, in the street in front of my house. It had some corrosion on it and I put it away. When I was in college I needed a knife for a project, so I pulled it out and steel wooled off the corrosion. It's been with me ever since.

Okay, the knife is missing. A quick search of the room turned up nothing. Drat... it had probably slipped out of my pocket when I took my pillbox out in the restaurant the previous evening. Well, I don't have time to wait around for the place to open. We had to get under way.

That morning was rather strange. I was locked in an internal battle, with one part of my mind wanting to go back and search for it, and the rational part saying "call the restaurant and hotel, and ask them to send it to you if they find it". The rational side won, and I used Glacier's handy cellular phone make the calls. That still didn't quiet the superrational voice that said "We are dealing with a knife here. It's not about losing the knife. The subject is replacing a knife. A knife is a knife. Get another one in Portland. Yes, it won't have the sentimental value, but you need to replace the one you lost.". That voice kept on inside me into the afternoon.

That afternoon the voices quieted and I was able to enjoy myself. Maybe they were just scared by the biological weapon storage facility we passed.

The landscape we were passing through was grassland, with few trees. Eventually we came into the Columbia River valley, and we finally made it to - Stonehenge! Yes, on the northern bank of the Columbia River, on a grassy knoll that is quite visible, is a replica of Stonehenge as it was way back when. It's properly aligned for its location, but it's on private property. I've been told it's been there for a while.

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That evening we finally made it home, or at least Glacier did. He lives in Corvallis, a place I consider a nice town, although he doesn't.

We had a few days before the gathering, so it was time to relax and just not think about driving for a while. We also had a few small projects to do: getting Glacier's two computers to talk to each other, and heading up to Portland for a day of fun.

The first of these two tasks did not go smoothly. We tried to connect the two PCs via Ethernet and Windows for Workgroups, using a two-node hub borrowed from Rogue Wave. For the life of us, we couldn't get either computer to see each other. The hub indicated no traffic on either line. We were grasping at straws after a few hours, and finally dropped the hub out of the picture completely. After all, what were the odds that we had completely screwed up the configuration of two PCs? We plugged them together with a custom cable (it's handy to have a crimping tool, eh, Glacier?) and they saw each other immediately. The hub was fried when we got it, as it turned out.

The second task was much more fun. We went up to Portland and bummed around there. Glacier picked up a new PC toy (trackpoint). I decided not to replace the knife I had lost until later. We investigated Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Then we went to Powell's City of Books. It's a very large bookstore that takes most of a city block. When you walk in you can pick up a map that's about 1.5' x 2' unfolded. There are millions of books in seven color coded rooms. I made a beeline for the SF/Fantasy, and found a book that was long out of print that I had wanted to reread for a few years. It was a $2.00 paperback. Then I started wandering and found a copy of Edward Gorey's The Curious Sofa, which I thought would make a good present for some friends.

I escaped relatively unscathed from Powell's, only to proceed down the street to Powell's Technical Bookstore. The first store doesn't carry their technical books - they have another entire store for that. The combined floor space of the two stores is very big - I'd compare it to The Strand in NYC, if memory serves me right. It certainly beats any chain I've seen.

Even though I was sorely tempted in Powell's Technical, and could have spent a lot of money there, I didn't. Whew. This was to come in handy later. Besides, how would I carry all the books I wanted to the airport later on?

We had dinner with Drum, a friend of Glacier, and a roommate of his. We hit a local market to pick up some food, and came out with Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream (my choice) and three pounds of shrimp for the four of us. Do you know how long it takes to peel all that shrimp? It was good, but I'm not sure it was worth all the effort. It looked like we had been on a crustacean jihad when we were done - and we had.

We completely forgot about the ice cream.

In a happy epilogue to the story of losing my knife, Glacier found it when doing the laundry. It had somehow ended up in the pocket of a different pair of jeans that I thought. This is peculiar, since I always keep them in my left front pocket, along with my pillbox, but I'm just happy I hadn't left them in Idaho. Yea!

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On to California! On to a five day gathering! On to four and a half days of intermittent rain!

But first, we had to evade the California Fruit Police. Yes, it's true. At the border of California, they stop you and ask if you have any produce in your car. It's strange but true. I can understand that they want to prevent the spread of parasites from other parts of the country, but it is unusual. Welcome to Texas: Drop your pants. Welcome to California: Drop that fruit. Isn't the world a wonderful place?

To make us feel even more secure, the road we traveled (I-5) passes right next to a cinder cone! Yes folks, it's a roadside volcano for your amusement and delight. No, don't worry, we'd warn you if we thought it was going to erupt. And it wouldn't do that, would it?4

We made it to Ukiah, stuffed with fruit. Along the way we went through uniquely Californian landscape: hillsides covered with grass and low trees - nothing else. No scrub or shrub at all. The soil's pretty loose, too. It's wonderful mudslide country. But we made it! We persevered! And we got rained on.

We hit the Billy Club gathering, and I got depressed. I'd been away from home for a while, and I just wanted to go home. I knew I wouldn't be there for another ten days. With the on-and-off rain, I just sat in my tent for a day before coming out and joining in the festivities.

Eventually my mood lifted and I interacted with humans. The rain put a bit of a strain on things, though, and it didn't stop until the last morning - just in time to say good-bye to some friends I had met again, and some I had made. Glacier and I parted company then, and we spent some time thinking about the things we'd done and seen together.

I hitched a lift down to Santa Rosa, and then to San Francisco, with a friend I'd made at the gathering (Thanks Bob!). So there I was in San Francisco, finally!

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Beth and Zook answered the door, and there we were: the first time we'd seen each other in close to two years. We spent some time catching up, and then we started to take in the city.

Beth had taken a few days off from work, and we decided the first day to stop in Berkeley and then proceed to SF. We never made it out of Berkeley. I was in some kind of heaven. Y'see, in Tennessee people don't read much, or so I suspect. There is only one good bookstore in a 20 mile radius, and it's a used bookstore. To go to a really good store, you have to go to Nashville, which is 90 minutes from the cabin. It was a wrench to find this out.

Berkeley seems to be the land of readers. That day we went to seven bookstores: used, new, specialty, chain, you name it. It was great. I didn't find the book I was looking for until the late afternoon, but that was okay. It was a great excuse for going to even more places. Along the way, we also browsed at a milliner's, and a several music stores.5 It was a lot of fun to just hang out with Beth - I'd missed it.

On the next day we went in to San Francisco. We started at Good Vibrations (ask Beth if you don't know what this is), and proceeded to walk to the infamous Castro and Market. We stopped for lunch at a place Beth recommended: Escape From New York Pizza. If you know me, you know that I love Jeff's Pizza in Albany. There is absolutely no pizza down here in Tennessee, just pale imitations. Well, EfNYP serves REAL Pizza! I loved it. It was like being back at Jeff's again. I want more. I miss it.

Onward we walked, admiring all the cool houses. Eventually we walked up Buena Vista park, and I got to see the bizarre three-lobed antenna tower that sits above SF like some gigantic alien spaceship landing guidance beacon. In the other direction was the Golden Gate bridge.

And we walked further, into Haight-Ashbury. That was fun, but the best was yet to come:

Yes, Haight-Ashbury has a B&J! Another piece of Albany that I have sorely missed. Of course we stopped, and I tasted the luscious strawberry ice cream that is the food of the gods.

Our final stop was Beth's office, near where they filmed an opening scene of Interview with the Vampire. The people in her office were impressed that we had walked so far across the city. It was only a couple of miles to me, but most of the natives saw it as a real hike. I guess you get used to taking public transportation since the city's so vertical, but really folks, it wasn't that far.

On Friday, Zook was with us, and we went to two museums: one of comic art (so-so), and the new SF MOMA. Moma looked pretty cool architecturally. It has a really neat catwalk above a four story drop. It was fun. We worked our way down from there, seeing an exhibit of American political photographs (which Beth and Zook, photographers both, ate up), and then parts of the museum's collection. I was most intrigued by the Surrealist pieces, but I've been fascinated with them for years. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time in the museum. so we didn't get to see the whole collection.

And for dinner we went to the other EfNYP.

Ahh, Saturday! We decided to drive up the coast to Point Reyes, but it didn't happen quite that way. We first stopped at a beach, and I did my usual "I'm on the west coast, have to touch the Pacific" routine. But it was too cold to stay long (remember, this was in April), so we hopped back in the car.

For some reason we decided not to go on. On the way back to SF, Zook suggested a way they hadn't been before, and before you know it, we were on top of Mount Tamalpais, which has an amazing view of the entire SF bay area from the north. It was a great surprise, and B&Z got some good pictures out of it.

On the last full day, we decided to just drive around, and had fun in different places. I stopped in The Gauntlet for the third time in four days to finally buy a new ring for Goat. This time I had both the color and gauge (black, 10) and the money. There wasn't anywhere to park, so I did a hop-and-run while B&Z circled. On the way out I saw someone from the gathering. I had had a feeling that if I stayed in SF long enough, I'd see someone else I knew (besides my hosts, of course), and I was right!

Monday morning I left bright and early, and had no trouble making my flight. The only thing that made me uneasy was the fact that I had only $15.00 with me, and no checks. I was glad I'd saved that last little bit - the shuttle to the airport cost $9.00. The flight itself was pretty quiet, but at least this time I had a window seat.

I was glad to be going home, but it was a sad feeling to know that it would probably be a very long time before I ever got out there again.

(Beth and Zook later sent a great package that included everything I had mistakenly left behind at their place, and also copies of the pictures we had taken. Thanks!)

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Goat picked me up at the airport and we went to a Ponderosa for dinner. Little did we know that we had chosen the Ponderosa of the Damned.

In hindsight, we should have seen something was wrong. There was almost no one there. We got to the cash register and there was no one. Finally someone took our order, and then the nightmare began in earnest.

After a while, a server came out and started looking for the people who had ordered the food she carried. It shouldn't have been too hard to figure it out; there were only three occupied tables in the entire place. While we waited, I got the distinct impression that one of the people there wasn't even a worker, just someone who was "helping out a friend". Eventually the food found us, and Goat's food was cold and wrong. He accepted it, which was another mistake.

In the meantime, the family behind us were also having problems. The manager, a young man who looked like he was experiencing some kind of impairment due to a psychoactive drug, told them he was sorry - and then stunned me by immediately reversing his position, laughing and saying "No, I'm not really.". They got their money back and left.

By this time I was working on theories of what was happening. The only thing I could figure out was that the Ponderosa had been condemned, and the staff, all three and a half of them, were waiting to die when it was demolished, which would happen at any moment. Why didn't they warn us? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THEM?

So the trip ultimately ended on a very strange note... but I was glad to be back home.

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Reviews

Journey to the Center of the Earth TV Movie
Goat and I had the misfortune to see this. It was absolutely awful: bad science, bad characters, unbelievable coincidences, laughable rubber monsters in the finest Dr. Who tradition, etc. Just really stinky. It must have been the pilot for a series, but it will die a quick death - which it richly deserves.

The Residents' Freak Show CD-ROM
Warped. Twisted. Slow on a 2X 4MB 33 MHz machine. The Residents present the visual counterpart to their innovative 1990 audio release Freak Show. It allows us to enter the world of the freaks, both fictional and real. The detail of this exploratory CD is wonderful, and contains doorways to a number of surprises, including the stories of the freaks in the tent, a gallery of famous real circus freaks, and a catalog of Residents' music - including actual full length videos. Their video of James Brown's "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" is not to be missed. And there's a sequel in the works: The Residents' Bad Day on the Midway.

Miscellaneous Music Musings

R.E.M., Monster
It's harder, you've heard it on the radio, forget the image and listen to the music. A worthy match for Automatic for the People. Crank "Circus Envy"; turn out the lights for "Tongue"; close your eyes in the sunlight for "I Don't Sleep, I Dream". Get carried away.

Laurie Anderson, Bright Red, The Ugly One with the Jewels
David Byrne, davidbyrne
Whoa! Squash that complex arrangement! It's time to strip that thing down. All three albums have a very intimate, strip-down-to-the-bone feel. Some songs are no more than the singer and one instrumentalist. There's nothing lush here. And it works.

Bright Red is the latest bit of music; The Ugly One... is an album of short monologues from her new book Stories from the Nerve Bible. As usual, if you know La Anderson you'll recognize some of the work here - "White Lily", for example - but there are some gorgeous new works like the gospel-tinged duet "Muddy River".

davidbyrne is an introvert's delight. From the close-up photographs of Byrne's body to the spare instrumentation to the lyrics of the dark inevitability of life, we seem to be falling into his head - and he's not very happy right now, thank you very much. But if you've enjoyed his works in the past, this is a trip worth taking. And in the end, we begin to find goofy love songs ("you & eye"), real life pleas ("my love is you"), and, finally, redemption ("buck naked").

These aren't albums that welcome the listener immediately, but like a traditional suitor, they are worth the wait.

King Crimson THRAK
King Crimson has reformed, this time as a double trio: the lineup of the second, early '80s incarnation plus Trey Gunn (Stick) and Pat Mastelotto (percussion). Like the last time around, the musical tension is between Adrian Belew and Robert Fripp, and it produces an edgy album that spins from stern guitar marches ("Coda: Marine 475") to disciplined instrumental mayhem ("B'Boom", "THRAK") to gentle, delicate persuasions ("Walking On Air"). They've even managed to include some material that could make it onto an adventurous radio program, although that's certainly the minority. It's a knight's move from their 1984 release Three of a Perfect Pair - not directly forward, but forward and in a whole new direction at the same time. The tension still sparks and crackles. It's ear-scorch for adults.

Timbuk 3 A Hundred Lovers
From the opening "Sunshine is Dangerous", Timbuk 3's showing a little bit more of their happy side - but they've still got a lot to be angry at in this America of ours ("Legalize our Love", "Prey"). That doesn't stop them from funking with our minds, though. Even though "A Hundred Lovers" might be on the radio, listen for the fun splatter of "Shotgun Wedding".

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Life on the Web

Since I've been back, I've been doing some work on the World Wide Web. Actually, I'm not on it, but I've written some HTML documents for it. Rogue Wave was interested in putting their documentation online, and I discussed doing some contract work for them.

One interesting nugget I ran across is a 3-line Perl script that implements RSA encryption. Warning: the text below is considered by the US government as munitions. There was a person online actually selling T-shirts with this on it - "I'm sorry, you can't export that T-shirt, it's munitions."

#!/usr/local/bin/perl -s-- -export-a-crypto-system-sig -RSA-in-3-lines-PERL
($k,$n)=@ARGV;$m=unpack(H.$w,$m."\0"x$w),$_=`echo "16do$w 2+4Oi0$d*-^1[d2%
Sa2/d0<X+d*La1=z\U$n%0]SX$k"[$m*]\EszlXx++p|dc`,s/^.|\W//g,print pack('H*'
,$_)while read(STDIN,$m,($w=2*$d-1+length($n||die"$0 [-d] k n\n")&~1)/2)

Don't send this to anyone outside the US - it's a felony. (Credit INFOWORLD for this one, June 5, p. 94.)
The site: http://www.cypherspace.org/~adam/rsa/

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Some People Just Don't Get It

From PCWeek, March 6, 1995:

Trying to pull information off the Internet remains as frustrating as trying to locate a book in the Library of Congress -- with no Dewey decimal number.

"On the Road", p. A/7, by senior PCWeek writer Lawrence Aragon (laragon@pcweek.ziff.com) [Brian: this is a specref.]

Excuse me - hasn't the Library of Congress used the Library of Congress classification system for decades? It's time to send this writer back to college.

And in the June 26 Letters column, one reader suggests tagging every World Wide Web document with a Dewey Decimal number to ease searches for information on the Web.

Hello?
"Welcome to 1995, sir. I understand that this is a big transition for you, but we'll do everything we can to bring you up to date. You jumped here from when - 1965? - so we'll pull the appropriate tapes and give you an overview of the world as it is today..."

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A Tantalizing Offer

I've got a store of images that I've generated as background screens. Some are whimsical, some subtle, and they're cool. Since I never keep the same one for too long, by now I've got a bunch on file. Here's the offer: free the asking, I'll send one a month or so to you. These are 640x480x256 GIFs, with no guarantee whatsoever. It's just a Wallpaper of the Month thing.

If interested, send me email.

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