Locked Out On Halloween

In my second year of college, I had an unusual roommate. Let's call him Sam. He and I were birds of a feather in some ways: we both liked our privacy and didn't like our proto-fratboy suitemates. We had weird senses of humor, as well.

Sam's twisted sense of humor came out with a vengeance on Halloween. Unfortunately, the timing wasn't particularly good for me. While I was taking a shower, Sam got into his costume and left for the day. I finished my shower only to find that I had neither keys nor shoes.

My first stop was a friend's suite. She lent me a pair of sneakers that were a size too small (ow). Then I went in search of Sam.

How hard could it be to find him, I wondered? After all, even though it was Halloween, few students were in costume. Of those that were, how many would have the nerve to dress in a WWII German soldier's uniform?

Yes, you read that correctly. On a campus of thousands of students, with a fair number who were Jewish, Sam was walking around as a Nazi. Many adjectives come to mind. Tasteless? You bet. Infuriating? Probably. Incendiary? Possibly. But the one adjective I wouldn't have expected was "invisible".

Throughout the entire day, I never found him. He wasn't in the campus center. None of my friends had seen him. I couldn't find him in the History building. Nowhere.

When I checked the suite in the afternoon, he was back and a bit disappointed. No one had recognized the uniform. One student suspected, but didn't notice some of the uniform's details.

So I guess neither of our costumes were a success: his German uniform, and my too-small sneakers. I was just glad to be back in my room.

(A bit less than a year later, I found myself locked out without my shoes once again. Is there a pattern here?)

Between semesters, Sam transferred to another college and moved out. I had a double room to myself, which was a pleasure. It came in handy when a friend of mine needed a place to stay one weekend. I don't remember her visit too well, but she does. She'd just had some dental work done and was under the influence of painkillers. Don't worry; I was a perfect gentleman.

The next morning, her presence apparently startled some of my suitemates. After not seeing much of Sam or me, they were probably quite surprised to see a tall, blonde woman disappear into my room.

What can I say? It was an interesting year. Let 'em wonder.

Last updated 3 June 2000
All contents ©1999-2002 Mark L. Irons